Little is more soothing than a hug. This kind of gesture heals, alleviates worries, and extinguishes the fear and anxiety that make us weak and vulnerable, stifling our own identity.
Incredible as it may seem, our brain is programmed to connect with other people to form bonds that will ensure our survival. Moreover, they are what make us feel capable, skilled, confident, and worthy of receiving and giving happiness.
When emotional-based tenderness is not present in our daily lives and does not host even the simplest activities, when no one touches us, hugs us and says things like: “I am here for you, I remember you and I love you”, something step by step it fades in us. This is why a hug is so important.
From the point of view of neuroscience, showing affection is essential for the proper development of a child from the earliest moments of life. If no one comforts a crying baby, it will feel unwanted and unloved over time.
As we grow, we put on our armor, convincing ourselves that we are strong and immune to injury, that we can achieve anything, and that little affects us.
Our emotions, however, are the same. And just like when we were children, we want to be loved, needed and noticed. We also want to feel that we will not be suddenly abandoned. A hug has the power to give us that certainty. It solves all the problems of the world, especially if we are given them at the right moment.
A hug makes us close our eyes for a very specific reason
One caress, touching, hugging a loved one is enough to suddenly release a kind of unique neuropeptide, which also functions as a hormone: oxytocin.
- This magical ingredient is the “glue” that connects souls. It is like the engine that sets in motion the mother’s relationship with her children, relationship partners, and friends who love and respect each other.
- Animals also have this neurotransmitter, which strengthens the bonds between members of the herd or pack and individuals living in the same area.
You will certainly be interested in the fact that when we kiss or hug, we usually close our eyes. Have you ever wondered why this is so?
Well, in such moments of tenderness, when emotions are intense and our brain deals with the release of oxytocin, it prefers to close its eyes to allow us to focus on what is most important at the moment – emotions.
A kiss or a hug with your eyes open completely spoils this atmosphere and takes away its magic.
No hug, emptiness in the soul
When we have a bad day, when someone seriously disappoints us, when we feel fear, insecurity, or we simply have the flu or some other illness, it is quite natural to sit on the sofa and hug ourselves.
- Little by little, quite instinctively, we assume a ball-like position, surround ourselves with our arms, and instinctively seek physical contact, even if it is only our own.
- We want to be wrapped, wrapped and protected with love. In such difficult situations, a hug from a loved one is invaluable and has a soothing effect. Whether it’s a mom, another family member, friend or partner.
- The physical need for security and support through touch and physical contact never disappears.
- Such behavior has a calming effect on us. Sometimes it can even speed up the treatment of certain diseases.
- When we feel loved and supported, our immune system is greatly strengthened. Sincere and disinterested emotional support works much more effectively than certain nutrients and vitamins.
- Sometimes even tapping the doctor’s shoulder while recovering from major surgery is soothing.
If we miss these sincere symptoms of care and attention from our loved ones, serious deficiencies will arise in our soul and our emotional mind will suffer greatly.
A good hug – rules
Regardless of what others tell us, we all know very well that not all hugs are good. Also, not all people should cross our limit of physical contact and come close to you at such a short distance.
Hugging a stranger is not pleasant, it is not soothing and it simply causes discomfort and a feeling of awkwardness. Even in our closest social and family circles there are people with whom we do not want to have this contact.
There are also people we love and are close to us, but who cannot hug or do not have the courage to hug them. In this situation, the following tips may be useful to us:
- A hug should be spontaneous, sincere and intense. If you love someone, give them a hug. Don’t wait for the other person to take this step.
- Children always reach a certain age at a certain age where they refuse to be hugged. But even if the little ones don’t seem to want to be cuddled, deep down they really want and need it. Even if they refuse to hug your baby, even for a few seconds.
In situations where you feel that the words mean little or the conversation enters a tunnel with no exit, don’t hesitate for a moment, hug.
A hug is usually the best solution for many situations.