There may be some signs in your relationship that make you feel really uncomfortable. However, you have yet to establish the exact reason for this situation. Your partner talks too much about himself and his problems, and projects an idealized image of himself that, if you think about it, isn’t really real… You may be dating a narcissist.
In this article, we talk about some of the signs of narcissistic behavior as well as what to do in such a situation. So if you feel strange discomfort in your relationship, check to see if you are dating a narcissist from time to time .
Narcissistic personality – are you dating a narcissist?
According to psychologist Stephen Johnson, a narcissist is a person who ” buried the true expression of himself in response to early wounds and replaced it with a false, highly developed, compensatory self.”
Therefore, the traditional image of a narcissist in love with himself is not an image that actually corresponds to a real narcissist. Rather, the narcissist is not in love with himself, by no means. Instead, he is rather in love with the idealized image he has created about himself.
In fact, they are deeply hurt people with extremely low self-esteem who hide under their idealized self so as not to face reality. It’s not easy to deal with a narcissist. In fact, his need to feel superior and idealize himself can even lead him to belittle and underestimate the other party in the relationship.
So, in the following, we’ll describe some common narcissistic behaviors and what you can do with them.
1. Talking to him is not talking
Talking to a narcissist can become an endlessly tedious and really frustrating experience. This is because the narcissist does not actually “talk” but maintains an endless and tedious monologue. This is not a dialogue, because there is no exchange here.
In fact, even if you try to speak up by saying “good”, “good”, “really”, the narcissist will still not let you participate in the conversation. That’s because the narcissist knows everything and better than anyone else. Your comments, if you manage to express them, will be ignored or corrected.
For this reason, it’s normal to feel frustrated after trying to talk to a narcissist.
2. The conversation revolves around “me, me, me and me too”
The topic of conversation with a narcissist always revolves around himself. In fact, even in conversations with more people, you will always try to join in to channel the conversation about yourself. For this reason, narcissists are people who constantly interrupt others by speaking up and disrespecting anyone.
In addition, not only do they not listen to others, but end up ignoring them and monopolizing every social gathering. For this reason, if your partner is a narcissist, it is logical that you feel neglected and underestimated.
3. A narcissist likes to break rules
Narcissists must feel different and better. For this reason, narcissistic people often like to break certain rules. For example, they express it by not following certain traffic rules, taking office supplies home, etc.
As a result, actions give them the feeling that they live above rules, laws and the whole society in general. They feel like they are going unpunished and better than others.
4. You meet a narcissist who doesn’t respect borders
Since the narcissist ranks higher, you automatically have to be lower in his hierarchy. For this reason, a narcissist will not respect you or take care of your needs. He is the priority. Does he ask for money and never return it?
Does he show his superiority over your feelings or achievements by diminishing their importance? If that’s the case, be careful! This may indicate that you are dating a narcissist.
5. It displays a false image of yourself
In fact, a narcissist must instill in others the idea that he must be admired. However, in reality he is a being with deeply rooted insecurity and low self-esteem.
6. When you meet a narcissist, he must be the center of your world,
Not only are your needs less important, the narcissist expects you to satisfy his desires first. Being in a relationship, a narcissist believes that he is its most important element. So he will require you to pay attention to him at all times, regardless of your needs and responsibilities.
7. In the beginning, when you meet a narcissist, he is really wonderful
When he tried to win your heart, he was just wonderful. You had a charismatic and persuasive, charming and caring person in front of you. However , as the relationship progressed and the interest in conquest faded, he pushed you to second place.
Narcissus has to be the best at everything. Therefore, it must also be an ideal conqueror. But when he gets bored of the game, things are completely different.
8. If you are dating a narcissist, you are dealing with a unique hero
By feeling superior, a narcissist creates an idealized image of himself in which he believes deeply. Indeed, she portrays herself as a hero (or heroine, if it’s a woman), someone extremely special and better than others. For this reason, he will be convinced that you are nothing without it.
9. Sometimes a narcissist presents himself as an innocent victim
A good way to get the attention of others is to present yourself as a victim. Thus, the narcissist makes you forget and focus on your needs. This is his goal from the very beginning.
However, it can also happen at any point in the relationship. Narcissists tend to constantly “refer to” in such a way as to make you feel guilty about how you treat him, if you are not doing what he expects.
10. He is a manipulator
A narcissist only sees those around him as an object that can be used to meet his needs. For example, they can choose a partner who is truly unique in their beauty just to show others a certain status.
What to do if you are dating a narcissist
If you want something to change in your relationship with the narcissist, you need to be more assertive. How to do it in practice?
- First, show me that it bothers you. In fact, you need to make clear the things that are bothering you, such as not being able to talk, or that his needs are always first, etc. Tell him that you are also important and that you have your own needs and requirements.
- Be positive. Even when explaining to the narcissist that you also exist, you need to do so in a way that doesn’t show that you are too concerned about the situation. In fact, if you are expressing yourself as offended, you can even affirm the narcissist’s superiority as if you were right.
- Be clear about your goal. While the narcissistic person is constantly trying to convince you that he and his goals are more important, remember that you too have yours. Don’t get carried away and don’t forget that you too have your own personality, needs, goals and dreams.
- Recognize that this person needs help. If you want to continue your relationship, it’s important to understand that a narcissist deep down is an insecure person with low self-esteem. Perhaps you can even help him this way.
Do you recognize any of these signals in your relationship? Work! Whether you break up a relationship because it makes you feel unwell or choose to continue it, never forget that you are as important as the other person.