Obsession With The Ex – How To Deal With It?

Ex-Obsession - How Can You Deal With It?

Not only does our obsession with our ex- partner cause us immense suffering, it also holds us back and prevents us from moving forward. Find out what you can do about it.

Most of us had to deal with the breakup. When this happens, it feels like our world is falling apart. The emotional impact of relationship breakdown is undeniable and inevitable. However, some people don’t handle this process properly, and it can lead to harmful behavior such as obsession with an ex .

Not being able to distract us from our ex-partner when he is no longer our partner is relatively common. There are many people who are stuck in their memories who regularly sift through their ex-partner ‘s social media profiles or look for him in hopes of returning.

All of the above situations are detrimental to self-esteem and prevent us from moving forward. But sometimes the impulse seems irresistible. Understanding why and applying certain guidelines will help us get out of this vicious circle.

Why is the obsession with the ex so often?

Obsession with “ex” is something that often happens when the relationship has broken up relatively recently. It is not about weakness or reluctance. In fact, there are strong physical and psychological causes that lead to this.

On the one hand, when we’re in love, the brain releases substances like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. They activate our neural reward circuits and induce a pleasant feeling of euphoria and satiety.

When the bond is broken, this surge of hormones stops, giving us a kind of withdrawal syndrome. Additionally, cortisol (the stress hormone) begins to flow through the body causing subjective discomfort and even health problems.

It is easy to understand that the body wants to regain the previous level of neurotransmitters, prompting us to seek contact with an ex-partner.

On the other hand, ending a relationship also means destroying shared illusions, expectations and plans for the future. If our identity was closely related to being with the other person, the breakup brings with it the need to reconfigure who we are.

All of this can be scary and overwhelming, so we react by trying to regain emotional security.

The woman and the shadow

How To End Obsession With Your Ex-Partner?

All of this happens, and as humans we are not free from experiencing the negative and unpleasant emotions that come with a breakup. They are similar to those we feel in mourning. However, we can do a lot in this case.

Stopping obsession with “ex” is, in part, a matter of determination and discipline. For this purpose, the following tips can be very helpful.

Accept reality

The first stage of mourning is usually denial. However, it is important not to stay in this state for too long and accept that the relationship is over.

Keeping thinking that it’s just an argument that it can be resolved or that the other person will come to their senses and come back to you will only stagnate you and keep you attached to someone forever.

Lack of contact

If the breakup is recent, it’s normal to want to stay in touch with your ex-partner to know how he or she is doing or how she is doing. However, the practice of zero contact, at least for the first few months, is essential.

Avoid meeting or talking to this person, and forget about any contact at all. But also make sure that you don’t go through old photos or conversations and check that person’s internet activity.

It’s about getting your brain used to this person’s absence from your life. If we continue to experience its physical or symbolic presence, we continue to nourish and strengthen old neural connections. Allow yourself to detach yourself from the hormonal rush that will set you free.

Justification for what happened

We often become obsessed with our ex-partner because it is hard for us to accept that all invested time, energy and dreams have been wasted. Nobody likes feeling like a loser.

Therefore, it is important to change the way we perceive what happened and remember that every experience that happened to us enriches us. Therefore, everything becomes meaningful whether the relationship is over or not.

A woman with a phone in her hand

Focus on yourself

And most importantly, focus on yourself. The healthiest thing you can do is continue other aspects of your life, even while we are in a relationship. Often, however, this is not the case, and we tend to focus too much on each other.

When we lose a partner, we may feel a void that we cannot fill. And the best alternative is always to devote this time and attention to yourself. Focus on yourself and take care of yourself and your goals.

Obsession with your ex-partner – it’s worth getting rid of

Avoiding obsession with “ex” is not easy, especially when we suffer from low self-esteem or have been in an emotionally dependent relationship. However, this is a decision we must make and stick to for our mental and emotional health.

The only person who will no doubt stay with you forever is yourself. Therefore, prioritize your well-being and focus your energy and resources on working on yourself. Be thankful for the time you share with the other person, forgive and open yourself to new experiences and opportunities to come.

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