Traumatic divorce is also a grief-like process. In fact, it means the death of the life that was meant to be shared, the end of dreams about the future, time and feelings together.
It is not easy for anyone to overcome a traumatic divorce . However, if you heed some advice, mourning a failed marriage can be more bearable and easier to endure.
Tips for overcoming a traumatic divorce
There can be many reasons for a divorce, which can be either by mutual consent or in conflict. In fact, each couple is a world of its own, and therefore it can properly be said that there are as many reasons for divorce as there are marriages. Infidelity, mistreatment, incompatibility of character … Whatever it may be, it’s never easy to come to terms with a breakup.
However, we must do this: there is no other option. We cannot force anyone to stay with us at all costs, nor should we continue with a relationship that doesn’t make sense.
Accept divorce, even if it is traumatic
Marriage is the beginning of a life together, dreams about the future, expectations and plans. It is a vision of the future that brings us to the point where we say the sacramental “yes”. At this point, we decide to make a commitment to the other person, thinking it will be for life.
Getting married is also an investment of some kind. In fact, we are investing in our spouse and in living together in all aspects (economic, psychological, emotional…).
So it is normal that we cannot accept that everything we have invested in and dreamed of has just collapsed. That is why many people go through the denial phase at first. At this stage, such people do not want to acknowledge that it is over. They also often insist that the marriage may somehow be saved, even at risk of their own dignity.
However, we must be honest and honest with ourselves and accept the reality. Of course, to overcome the breakup, we will have to go through a mourning process. Therefore, we must be understanding with ourselves and give ourselves the right amount of time.
Say NO to all forms of isolation
However, it is best to share how you feel and how you feel with people who are close to you and who truly love you. Expressing your feelings always produces positive results. It brings relief and will make you really feel better. This way you can get rid of some of the burden that is overwhelming you and hurts you.
Therefore, do not dismiss your family and friends who undoubtedly want to help you. This is much better than insulation, which can make you see things in even darker colors than they really are.
It’s easy to say – we are aware of this. However, in every breakup, apart from something that dies, there is also something that is born. And as a result, a new future is born that you have not imagined so far.
Gradually, as the pain of a broken marriage is at least partially overcome, you can imagine a new life. Open up to new dreams , expectations and plans. In addition, you can even imagine that you are doing what you really want. Something you’ve never done before because you were in a relationship. Now, however, in your projections for the future, you can be 100% yourself, because you are no longer part of the pair.
This is the perfect time to be optimistic. Therefore, start envisioning a future filled with personal growth and enjoyable activities . Take care of yourself and live your own life!
A traumatic divorce can be a valuable lesson
You have undoubtedly had a lot of experience going through a traumatic divorce. You have suffered, you have cried, and you may have almost reached the bottom of despair. However, this means, among other things, that you have become closer to yourself. By going through suffering, you were in touch with your innermost self and you were able to get to know yourself better.
Now you know your limits better and have learned to manage pain and negative emotions. After all, you are stronger and more confident. Take advantage of this energy and create a new life and a new future.
It’s time to prioritize
While your marriage was going on, it was all about the marriage relationship. Day after day you have been working together to organize the holidays, what to shop in the supermarket, or what programs to watch on TV … But now this community does not exist and you can prioritize your own preferences.
Therefore, try to do activities that you really like. So try to rediscover your hobbies and personal tastes . Take care of yourself as well, for example by exercising.
You don’t necessarily have to look for a new relationship
It’s time to understand that happiness is within you and that you don’t need a romantic relationship to make sense of your life. In fact, life makes sense in itself.
Therefore, don’t feel that finding another partner will solve your problems, neither now nor in the future. You must learn that loneliness is also necessary as it gives you the opportunity to be with yourself. Only then will we be prepared to find the right person if we feel more complete and more complete in finding our own unique value.
Ask for professional help if needed
If, after all, you feel that you cannot overcome the divorce and the grief is more intense than you can bear, don’t hesitate to see a specialist.
In fact, if you think depression is lurking at your door, you may need outside help. If you don’t feel capable of doing anything, eating, or enjoying the most everyday things in life, a psychologist can help you overcome this condition.
Therefore, once again be understanding with yourself and accept the fact that you need help. Then don’t be afraid to ask for it. A specialist will help you deal with stress and conflicting feelings. It will also teach you to guide them in the right way.
Thanks to this, you will be able to imagine a new future that opens up for you without limitations.
In this article, we’ve provided just a few tips for overcoming a traumatic divorce. But in any event, it should be remembered that just as each couple creates their own world, so each divorce creates a different reality.
So, especially in marriages with children or where there has been abuse, we need to be especially mature and strong. In fact, mismanaging the situation or the emotions and resentments that a breakup entails can create even more psychological trauma in the future. Therefore, if necessary, do not hesitate to see a specialist.