Types Of Toxic Families And Problem Solving

In most cases, children are the worst affected as they are deprived of precious years of happiness and carefree.
A toxic family - get to know its different faces

A toxic family is like a small, lonely island, the reality of which consists of endless conflicts, prohibitions and orders, lack of harmony, screams, quarrels … Negative emotions and an unhealthy lifestyle affect the well-being and behavior of all members of this small community. It can be said that in recent years the word “toxic” has become fashionable. We often hear and read about toxic relationships, a toxic partner, a toxic family, a toxic atmosphere at home or at work, etc.

It is worth noting, however, that this adjective does not reflect any specific clinical description that we might find in psychological textbooks. It also does not define any disease or disorder. Today, the label “toxic” is assigned to people with a specific personality or behavior who hurt their loved ones in any way. They also emit negative energy, take away the will to act and motivation, and ruin someone else’s self-esteem. One source of the problem may be a toxic family .

A toxic family and its many faces

We talk rarely or not at all about what is happening in our home. A family is a small community whose members live under one roof. Together they struggle with problems, trying not to make them visible. Most of us don’t tell anyone what’s going on in our intimate four walls.

The main assumption of each family should be daily coexistence, mutual care, support in difficult times, raising children, caring for older family members, a shared vision of the future and shared happiness.

Family in the palm of your hand

Unfortunately, these values ​​are not always the foundations of family life. Often in our homes there are negative and unpleasant situations that disturb the rhythm of life of all members of our small community.

This topic is extremely important and deserves deeper reflection. Meet several different types of the toxic family with us today.

A toxic family – learn about its different types

Psychologists and family dynamics experts emphasize that, rather than talking about a toxic family, we should rather talk about toxic parents.

Both mother and father are the cornerstones of every family. And it is their personality that, to some extent, will determine the happiness of other members of this small community (not only children, but also grandparents and other relatives).

Let’s look at a few of the different types of the toxic family.

Toxic family: manipulative, narcissistic and intolerant

There are families whose dysfunction resides in the behavior of one of the members, who is characterized by narcissism and a willingness to manipulate their loved ones.

Baby with mom.  A toxic family can destroy a life
  • In most cases, people with this personality type need to feel that they are in complete control of what goes on in their home. Unfortunately, their principles are based on limiting the freedoms and freedoms of other family members and the lack of respect and tolerance towards others.
  • This family model has serious consequences. Children experience neither concern nor respect from their parents, which in turn leads to a weakening of their self-esteem. It is also common for them to rebel against an authoritarian, toxic and negative person, further aggravating the unhealthy atmosphere in the home.

Immature parents and children who care for them

A toxic family is also a community in which a parent or both parents do not show sufficient emotional maturity to live in a family. They are characterized by behaviors such as:

  • No sense of responsibility for other people.
  • Lack of interest in their own children, total carelessness and unreliability.

In such cases, the roles are reversed – children assume the role of adults and look after their irresponsible parents. This situation is neither normal nor healthy for the family.

Let us remember that childhood is a very important period in human life and a little person should live happily and carefree. Let us not force our children to grow up by force. In their adult life, they will encounter enough unpleasant and difficult moments, so let us not take away their precious childhood years.

Parents who take out frustration on their loved ones

There is no worse psychological weapon than a frustrated person looking for a wanted victim. It is worth noting that the situation in which a parent discharges stress, frustration, dissatisfaction with life and anxiety on their children is present in most homes around the world.

Unfortunately, such behavior in the family leaves a permanent mark on the personalities of all members of this small community. It is hard to imagine a more exhausting situation than when parents force their children to fulfill their own teenage dreams. Another, equally common, case is treating your own children or your partner as a target to discharge your dissatisfaction and anxiety.

Parents who manipulate their partner with their own children

There are cases where a father or mother uses their own children as a tool to manipulate their partner. While this is the most common situation during divorce, toxic “normal” families can also deal with it on a daily basis, where children have to side or the other in order to achieve the parent’s goal.

This type of behavior in the family has a very negative impact on the child’s development – they destroy the child’s mind and instill in it the basics of using the technique of emotional blackmail. The young man begins to think that only blackmail can achieve his goals and intentions.

Toxic family – factors that define it

First of all, the source of toxic family problems should be identified, which will serve as a starting point for changes and implementation of strategies aimed at catalysing negative emotions and regaining family harmony.

Unfortunately, in many cases, even when we determine the source of the problem, it is not easy to control the situation in the family. All kinds of changes are associated with a very high emotional cost for some of its members.

Family having dinner together.

Moreover, positive changes cannot be brought about overnight. If we are not used to certain behaviors, changing our behavior or our long-term lifestyle can turn out to be a long and exhausting process.

However, we should remember that with a little effort and good will, we can facilitate family life, instill in ourselves respect and tolerance for others, and make the toxic family happy again, spending nice time together.

Processes that are directly related to the problem of the toxic family:

  • Possible psychological problems or addictions among family members
  • Abuse of power by parents and the use of an authoritarian model of upbringing
  • An absent father or mother (often both) who neglects the basic emotional needs of their children
  • Lack of the ability to show affection on the part of parents, poorly developed family ties
  • Possible cases of physical or mental abuse by individual family members
  • Poor communication between family members resulting from the inability to establish contact with others or the lack of interest in the problems of others
  • No trust in any of the family members
  • Low self-esteem of either parent
  • Expectations that are too high for a spouse or children that prevent a happy and harmonious family life.

At the end

It is very likely that you will identify with some of the above examples. Analyze your behavior and consider whether you are not interfering with family life.

Whenever possible, try to communicate clearly and lovingly with your loved ones. Take care of the atmosphere in your home. Do everything in your power to solve all kinds of misunderstandings and problems as early as possible.

If you find that you are unable to control the situation on your own and you find that your behavior is destructive to your entire family, seek specialist help. It will benefit not only you but your whole family as well.

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